“PROJECT: UBIYTSA” (Full Album)
PROJECT: UBIYTSA
The Cosmonauts
Original Release Date: 12/31/2576
Dear Audionauts, we are excited to announce that the IBP has officially decoded the entirety of the classic 2576 album PROJECT: UBIYTSA by The Cosmonauts. We are offering this exciting opportunity through our radio channels (see below). To all the Sleeper Cells who may be activated by prior beats performed by The Cosmonauts, we guarantee this album is activation-free. Below is our original entry into the IBP Collection for PROJECT: UBIYTSA.
Listen to PROJECT: UBIYTSA on:
Spotify | Soundcloud | YouTube
The struggles of the members of The Cosmonauts have been documented before by the Intergalactic Beets Project. After escaping Earth's (Milk Way Galaxy) Union of Soviet Socialist Republics’ Space Program, where they were subjected to experimentation, torture, deprivation, and starvation, they discovered a planet teeming with like-minded (and similar-looking) creatures. In all likelihood, the USSR had farmed the ancestors of The Cosmonauts to beat the United States in intergalactic travel after their failed attempts to beat them to Earth’s Moon. After releasing their second album, And Our Efforts Were Rewarded, the USSR tracked the band's intergalactic tour, intent on snuffing them out before they could spread what they determined to be lies about the horrors of the Roscosmos. To achieve this, they unveiled Project: Ubiytsa, a training program that brainwashed citizens into becoming lethal assassins triggered by, ironically, the music of The Cosmonauts. The plan involved hundreds of sleeper agents who would attend their concerts and, when a particular song started, would be activated and compelled to destroy the band members. When word of this reached The Cosmonauts, they fought back the only way they knew how: with beats. The sleeper agents may have been trained to awaken when they played one of their previously released songs, but they would be powerless against new material. PROJECT: UBIYTSA, their attempt at sonic assassination, became their obsession. Hiding in a remote studio aboard the Orbiter 1K (the shuttle they stole led them to Planet Zhuchka), they worked tirelessly to pump out eight explosive tracks. As with many of the entries in the IBP, the album is thrilling and terrifying, a cosmic journey counterargument representing their own audio sleeper cells. The plan, in essence, was to activate their fans to seek out the would-be assassins and send them packing. The tour and the album were announced simultaneously, and the response was tepid. Fans had just heard And Our Efforts Were Rewarded and the prevailing thought was that the new album was a cash-in. Ticket sales were slow initially, and shows were sparse, but the incidents were limited—false alarms, some rouge firecrackers, but nothing close to the shadow of death. Then, word of mouth began to spread. PROJECT: UBIYTSA caught on, and fans flooded the box office. Suddenly, shows were so jam-packed that the sleeper cells couldn't get tickets. At one such show, The Cosmonauts accidentally launched into a legacy song, and several mindless fans charged the stage, their arms akimbo, their fingers fluttering. But the true fans understood, diving to their rescue with abandon, overpowering the rogue agents and, in one case, moshing them to death. This failure to launch proved to be a massive blow to the USSR, and from recovered documents, the Project was shut down indefinitely. There are those out there who would believe that, at any moment, the assassination plot could be reinstated, and The Cosmonauts are part of that anxious crowd. Unfortunately, they still do not play older music at their live performances in the hopes that those shows will not be their last. PROJECT: UBIYTSA still stands as the ultimate revolutionary measure, a rapid response to threats that, to this day, are faced by freedom and the enjoyment and production of the tastiest beats in the Universe.
Side A
Priority One
Sustainer
Life Support
Sleeper Cells
Side B
Pulsar Waves
Assassin
Completing The Circuit
Orbital Escape